Christmas Crabs

Note from the Author:  This story is from OVER TWO YEARS AGO!  I’m not sure what kind of time warp I am stuck in that we were in Costa Rica two years ago and not two months ago, but there you have it.  That said, I still have a ton of stories I have not shared, and since this blog is supposed to be like a little living diary, I feel like I should write the stories down when the mood strikes.  So, you are getting a very old Costa Rica story.  I have lots of them.

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The Christmas we spent in Costa Rica was awesome, but also a little strange.  I grew up in Alaska.  To me, Christmas is cold and snowy, dark and cozy – it involves rich and heavy foods and the smell of fresh baked cookies.  Without those things Christmas isn’t really Christmas, which means I haven’t had a real Christmas in a LONG time because I live in Los Angeles, this year it was 75 degrees and sunny on Christmas – it’s like blasphemy I tell ya.

Anyway, even though we were in Costa Rica and it was 700 degrees with 180% humidity, I really wanted to at least do something to commemorate the holiday.  Riaz was sent out on a mission to get some kind of yummy sea creature for dinner and I bought s’mores fixins for a Christmas bon fire on the beach.

Riaz came home with three very fresh lobsters, which he cooked on the bar-b-que.   I made up some potato salad and cole slaw (I think those were the sides, it’s been over a year!  All I really remember are the delicious lobsters …. mmmmm …. lobsters.)  Anyway, we had an early dinner that was fabulous and then we set off to the beach to build a Christmas Fire.

In no time we had a nice blaze going on our completely deserted beach.  It was really amazing and probably would have been semi-romantic but for the 18 month old in our midst.

I got the s’mores ingredients laid out on a rock and got ready to show Riaz the beauty that is graham crackers, marshmallows and chocolate (s’mores is an American thing and Riaz had never had them – more blasphemy!)

I cooked up a marshmallow, laid it carefully on a graham cracker, smooshed the whole thing with chocolate and sandwiched it all up with another cracker.  I took it over to Riaz and watched as he took his first bite.  Delicious.

It was dark at that point and I had probably been away from the s’more fixin’ rock-table for approximately 45 seconds.  I turned from Riaz to get back to work on dessert for Aiman and I when I noticed the ground kind of moving.  Huh?  Weird.

I shined my flashlight on the s’more table and found that there were approximately 70 billion hermit crabs on and around my chocolate.

Me:   AHHHHHHH!  CRABS!

Riaz:  What?

Me:  CRABS!  CRABS!  CRABS!  THE CHOCOLATE!  NOOOOOOO!

Riaz:  What?

Aiman:  Mommy?

Me:  Go away!  Shoo!  Go Away!  Get off!  Ack!  Oh God!  It’s on my foot!  GET OFF GET OFF GET OFF!

Riaz:  You ok?

I was finally able to shoo all the crabs off my chocolate and scoop up all the graham crackers and marshmallows.  Even though everything probably had some kind of gross crabby germs all over it, I decided that the heat from the fire would kill anything off and I should just go ahead and continue to make the s’mores (plus I really wanted one – they are s’mores people!  So good!  No crab will come between me and my chocolaty goodness!)

Riaz had to form a protective barrier between myself and the hordes of attacking hermit crabs, but I was able to get a few more s’mores made.  The rest of the night was a bit of a bust.  At that point the crabs had smelled my fear and were in attack mode.  It was more than a little disconcerting feeling little crabs scurrying over my feet every 20 seconds.

Despite the Great-Crab-Attack of 2010, the s’more cookout was totally worth it, though I could do without the reoccurring crab nightmares I now have.

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