In an effort to talk about something other than the baby who must not be named for one or more posts, I thought I would talk about the thing (besides the baby who must not be named) most near and dear to my heart — baby weight. Ladies, lets discuss … Before I got pregnant my weight fluctuated between one weight and another weight five pounds more than that – lets be all scientific about it and call my weight “Base” and “Base +5”. At the peak of my pregnancy I weighed Base + about 40 (eeeep!). I am currently at Base +5, so technically I have “lost” the baby weight. Why then, gentle readers, do my clothes still not fit. Lets examine the evidence shall we.
Artist’s rendition of my current body shape:
** Drawing not to scale
It is not just the massive size of my chest that is making my clothes way to tight, I still cannot put on most of my pants. I could always put on my pants even when I was pre-pregnancy Base +5, so what has changed? Is it the extra skin around my mid-section (by the way – just saying that makes me what to gag – extra skin! Gross!) Is it that the +5 is centered in two primary locations (i.e. my belly and, for some unknown reason, my thighs) rather than spread out all over my body? Should I stop using my free time to do totally unnecessary things like sleep (and blog) – and instead do some crunches? Or could it be that the baby who must not be named has forever changed the shape of my body and I just need to accept it and go out and buy more pants!?!
I read on the T.V. screen in the elevator in my office (the place where I get all my news) that it costs approximately $211,000 to raise a child. Do we think that includes the cost of a new wardrobe?